The Power of Hope

The final piece of a three part blog from discussions between Helen Green, Jane Bytheway, Julie Barnes and Lise Ribeiro from Oasis School of Human Relations in response to the unusual way 2020 unfolded. We share these blogs to raise questions and what we have learnt.

We reflected on our personal stories of seeking hope in dire situations, of family illness and bereavement and in disappointment and loss.  Experience tells us that hope is often found in seeing situations from different perspectives – this is the ‘best kind of cancer’ to have’; ‘others have it worse’; ‘I can see the light at the end of the tunnel’; ‘this is not forever, and I can imagine a better time ahead; this, too, will change’.

A place for hope – for optimism and the deliberate deployment of a positive mindset and thinking, even when the lights go out? Hope as an attitude, not a vague wish or longing for freedom from pain.

‘The kind of hope I often think about… I understand above all as a state of mind, not a state of the world.  It is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart…’ Vaclav Havel from Disturbing the Peace:  1987 in Claire Maxwell’s blog: On the importance of Hope, Oasis, 9 October 2020

What do we take from this?

Keeping our heads above water by following our heart, focusing on what we believe and trusting ourselves.  Hope living with us – without it, how will we ever have a go at anything?  Fear and despair at one end of the continuum, and hope and love being at the other. 

‘I’d rather be an optimist and a fool, than a pessimist and right’.

Albert Einstein

What makes an optimist or a pessimist? Optimists can’t live in the despair.  Those who tell us we are being ‘over-optimistic’ are not helping.  ‘I may be delusional, but I prefer optimism to despair’.

How do we encourage ourselves and others to cultivate hope in uncertainty and to accept and live with our discomfort?

      By talking about it

     Normalising it

     Recognising that change is the only constant – it’s here to stay

     Feeling it and discovering that you can be okay with it

     Acknowledging, naming and accepting feelings

‘Allowing the feelings to flow through me….then they can shift in the knowing. Feelings don’t last forever.  Our body is receiving and communicating signals at every stage – can we learn to listen and understand what it is telling us? And act accordingly?’

For the journey…

In extreme times like these, we find ourselves ‘tossed and blown’ by the ever-changing circumstances, unsettled by choices and decisions to be made, in and out of our control.  We cling to the familiar and are wary of the unknown. We crave certainty, longing for firm ground beneath our feet, for a smooth ride, a clear road ahead, for our heads to be above water, and any number of metaphors relating to the sea, to the weather and to the solid earth. Metaphors which, in themselves, cry out for stability and calm amidst unpredictability and change.

 ‘Whatever gets in the way, is the way’

So say the yoga masters – encouraging us to embrace the obstacles and limitations we meet and to follow their path to even greater learning and growth – to give up the struggle of suffering and embrace the new horizon beyond them.  

Through our conversation, we reaffirmed the value of self-knowledge and awareness in meeting the current challenges from a place of assurance and inner resourcefulness. We welcomed the opportunity to share our stories, questions and survival strategies in a safe learning environment.  And we will keep talking, listening to each other and finding inspiration and strength in all that is around us.

·       How do we cultivate hope?

If what we focus on grows….. where do we look for hope and where do we find it? Maybe in….grains?

‘For the New Year, 1981’

I have a small grain of hope–

one small crystal that gleams

clear colours out of transparency.

I need more.

I break off a fragment

to send to you.

Please take

this grain of a grain of hope

so that mine won’t shrink.

Please share your fragment

so that yours will grow.

Only so, by division,

will hope increase,

like a clump of irises, which will cease to flower

unless you distribute

the clustered roots, unlikely source–

clumsy and earth-covered–

of grace.

Denise Levertov