A Tale of Two Uncertainties

by Sonia Mayor

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the spring of hope it was the winter of despair -we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.”

The famous opening lines of Charles Dickens’ 1859 novel, the Tale of Two Cities, lays out the apparent contradiction at the heart of this work - the city of London, where people had two diametrically opposite experiences of the same place at the same time. The same can be said of organisations, teams and individuals responding to stress and anxiety in the workplace. Do they choose to view the situation through the lens of fear or the lens of love?

Fear and love, the two ends of the spectrum of human emotions, take us in two different directions and greatly influence the actions we take individually and collectively. As we emerge from the pandemic over the coming months which alternative will we choose? Will we reinvent our organisations from a place of fear or of love?

How we respond to any situation or person depends on what we have experienced during our lives, and how we have learned and been taught to interpret those experiences. Everything we feel and experience comes from within us and forms our ‘story of the world’ and our place within it. It takes great awareness to understand our habitual responses to danger and unpredictability. Only when we do, can we make genuine choices and be intentional in our actions.

One model that helps us understand our individual and organisational responses to managing anxiety in the workplace is that of the collaborative or compromised cycles, often referred to as the red and green cycles.

In times of great uncertainty, where fear dominates, our primitive fight/flight defence mechanisms are triggered as a way of helping us adapt to a threatening situation: our behaviours may be defensive; protective; and reactive.  This is referred to as the red cycle. Within organisations, as stress flows through a system, the extent to which it impacts on our work depends on the capacity of the organisation and individuals within it to work effectively with anxiety. What helps us shift from this state of fear?

In the contrasting green cycle, a more compassionate loving approach is taken to manage anxiety. Here stressors are acknowledged, mistakes are seen as opportunities for learning, new ideas are encouraged and there is cooperation and persistence in searching for shared solutions.

Exciting developments in neuroscience are also questioning the predominant narrative of competition and individualism revealing instead that our survival depends upon forming strong bonds with each other and working collaboratively in groups. It also shows that our emotions are contagious as we start mirroring those around us. This again reinforces the benefits of working in the green cycle.  

How others feel has a huge impact upon how we feel and behave ourselves. These findings urge us to nurture our emotional lives, create safe environments and foster healthy connections. It seems we all flourish when we are in environments where we are met with compassion, empathy, and love.  

I want to share the story of Patagonia, the American outdoors company, who consciously chose to respond with love to a crisis. In the 2007 world recession, companies globally were cutting costs and reducing their workforce. Casey Sheehan, the CEO shared his concerns with his wife Tara - for the business to survive they would have to lay off staff. Tara asked a question….’Tell me is this decision originating from fear or love?‘ she asked. ‘Fear’ he answered. She asked, ‘What would love do?’’ Patagonia negotiated a flexible work system for staff which saved their jobs. Whilst the external world responded to the threat with fear, Patagonia instead chose compassion, which led to greater trust and collaboration within the organisation. 

Organisations that manage uncertainty from a green cycle use their emotional intelligence (EI) to create the conditions for our basic human qualities of generosity, contribution, and love to be evoked no matter what. As Goleman, the renowned psychologist and author on EI states, ‘It is in our DNA to embrace loving connections for our survival’.

This four step process can help us shift into more ‘green cycle’ behaviours and can be applied to ourselves and our work with others to notice how we might be responding to a time of uncertainty.   

Listen

Pay attention to how and what you hear. Listen closely to how ‘stories’ are told.  Notice the language being used, how much of it is reactive and fearful.  It is the quality of how we listen to each other that shapes the quality of our conversations and interactions. Conversations have the ability to trigger emotional reactions. Words either cause us to connect and bond and therefore trust more fully or they cause us to break rapport and think of others as a potential threat.

Observe

If we can pay attention and observe our feelings, when we are gripped by strong emotions, without the need to deny or judge or even analyse our story, then we can begin to notice our automatic reactions to a situation.  Pausing for a moment can give us a glimpse that we might have a choice in how we respond.     

Value

When we can empathically connect to others’ feelings, without the need to ‘correct’ or change their experience in any way, they feel understood, heard, and valued. This often is the best antidote to calm the stress response and helps us to make informed choices about our behaviour. No ‘fixing’ interpretation or advice is required. When difficult emotions are met compassionately, there is less of a need to justify, protect or defend a position.

Experimental Attitude

Developing an experimental attitude helps us to deal with uncertainty. In many situations there is no simple answer. Shifting to a place of inquisitiveness can help us deal with ‘not knowing’. From this place we are more likely to be surprised and intrigued by the different and possibly new ways of seeing.

These four steps can help us respond to an uncertain situation with love, rather than with fear. After all, as Dickens also said, ‘love is in all things a most wonderful teacher’.

This blog is part 2 of a previous article written by Sonia, which can be seen here